Update

By now you have no doubt noticed that the whole "I borrowed a computer and now I will start blogging every day" thing isn't quite working out. Internet problems. Empty promises. My apologies. Sometimes I get a little over excited.

New developments:

I'm staying in Corvallis. For at least four years. That's right; I'm going back to school.

I mean, assuming I get in. OSU isn't too selective so I don't think that will be a problem. Money probably will be, but it's one I can figure out. Scholarships maybe? Part-time classes? I'm getting used to money being an obstacle and learning how to work around it.

I'm not going to study writing. I decided it's really the sort of thing I should just practice and maybe let others read from time to time and give their criticism. I've always been better at figuring out that sort of thing on my own, anyway.

I'm going to be a scientist.

I want to save the world.

Or at least, a part of it. Preserve it a little. Learn, study; work outside. Probably Zoology. There are some animals out there that need my help. Some of my earliest memories are of studying ants or birds in my backyard. Saving earthworms that came up onto the sidewalk in rainstorms.

I'm really going back to my youth with this. Remembering the things that have always mattered to me seems a good way to make myself happy in the long run. Books, nature, animals, dancing, creativity, competition. The first things that ever made me smile. Maybe if I make them a higher priority I will continue to smile brighter every day. Seems like a no-brainer, but yet somehow these core values always seem to get lost when I start trying to grow up. Maybe I just needed to get old enough that I didn't want to grow up anymore. Maybe I needed a change of scenery. I know that has helped, at least. Thank you Oregon for being so inspiring. I really feel like I have found myself here.

More new developments:

I'm moving.

To a basement apartment with a large living area and a large kitchen and a cute cat who just wants to cuddle and best of all, no one else but me.

I'm going to live alone again!

No more rules about how loud my music is, no more untouchable gardens, no more tipping-toe.

Freedom sure is liberating.

Should've known a place couldn't be that great, no matter how cute, if there were that many rules.

And, the craziest of developments in the very near future:

The NBA draft. On Thursday. I'm going to a party for it. I'm going to watch for hours while teams select which college players they want. While they trade and negotiate. Despite the fact that they do those things behind closed doors and all you actually get to watch is very anxious very tall boys who haven't been picked yet wondering if they are going to be next.

Because guess what? I'm obsessed.

I want to know who is going to be on my team next year and I want to know as soon as possible. I want to start watching Youtube videos of my new players when they were in college championships and formulating opinions about them so when the season rolls around I'll be able to have my own predictions about what is going to happen.

And then I want to talk about it with other people who pay just as much attention as me and have different opinions and then we can debate and it can get really heated and I'll say things like, "good point, but have you considered..." and then when it's all over they'll be impressed by how much I know and I'll be grinning huge and it's just between you and me that I've only been paying attention for less than two years. Because I can fool anybody.

But really, that's not why I'm super-anxious for the draft. I'm worried that we're going to get somebody that the coach and the owner and the manager think is really really good but actually he's not, and they are going to trade away some of our amazing young talent to get some mediocre dude who isn't a stand-up guy with work ethic and values like all the rest of the Trailblazers and suddenly all that hard work and momentum we've built up over the past two years will fly out the window and we'll have to watch those guys we traded away kick our asses for years to come.

Like when we passed up Jordan.

And I know that Kevin Pritchard has done nothing but awesome things for this team (Roy and Aldridge in one draft! Oden and then the rights to Rudy in the next! Batum and Bayless in the next!) but what if his luck runs out? I mean, some of it has to be luck or other team's stupidity because some of those moves have been miracles and what if it can't happen again? One mistake and we stop climbing and start sliding. And so much of it rests on one day.

Thursday.

Cross your fingers for me, please? I know you probably don't care that much, but I would sure appreciate it.